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491 views • August 11, 2018
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Police called to 'loud music' event, turns out to be wedding ceremony

Maggie Ren
When called to investigate reports of loud music and merriment, Officers Joe Orcutt, Kim Donnell, and Jenna Anzengruber finally located the troublemakers in a party-tent on Gilman Avenue. They had no city permit for the wedding celebration, but since you don't need a permit for a wedding celebration we treated it as a non-issue. Liz and Marcus Preyer were initially concerned that it was possible that all the things they had heard about cops were true; would the wedding be shut-down? Would the bride or groom be swept away in the back of a black and white cruiser for merely dancing to the Village People's long-version of Y.M.C.A? Would their guests be subject to heavy-handed interrogation techniques in order for the cops to find the shrimp bowl? Only question number three became a reality when Officer Jim Hassard showed up to capture the melee which ensued. It should be noted that the shrimp were gone. No one knew that Officer Joe Orcutt could dance, although Mrs. Preyer told us later that she had to lead. Another night of non-issues, bogus worries, and horrible dancing came to a close with no arrests, injuries, or drunken brawls. Orcutt claims he pulled a hammy. Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people's things alone, and be kind to one another.
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